Izzy come here!!!!!!

I looked down and growled.
“It isn’t my fault that I ran us out of the hospital without grabbing my cloths.” I snapped seeing my breath in the bitter cold air.
“I kind of haven’t had enough time to change into anything.” I then turned to walk away but I knew she had more to talk about. I felt goosebumps on my arms rise. It was freezing but I had to deal, I didn’t think I had any other cloths unless Lyrra somehow guessed my size.

"Stephan, please come back i'm sorry. I do have clothes for you in the car. And yes they are the right size if you dont recall i had to dig through your clothes at the hospital." I said. I didn't want him to leave yet. I still had things to talk about. We couldnt live together and fight so much. Something had to change.

I turned around and looked at her in the eyes. My eyes sowing nothing but blue.
“What kind of cloths? There’s nothing to talk about, I killed someone and you thought it was horrible, done, the end, move the fuck on.” I said not meaning a word of it but she needed to deal with me, just like I had to deal with myself.
I turned again to leave but was stopped by her intense glare that was literally burning a hole in my head.
Jesus Christ woman! So stubborn!

"No, you are going to talk to me because this is exactly what we need to talk about. We are obviously going to be together for a while which means we can't keep going on like this. And when we are done you can look at your own dam clothes." Jesus ********leave me alone********** he makes me mad sometimes.

Rage flared, I didn’t want to talk about anything at this point. There was nothing to talk about, if I ever said anything about what happened she’d flip, and probably would get scared again.
I turned towards her gritting my teeth, looking directly in her eyes. “There’s nothing to talk about.” My voice was low and bitter. I could feel Xander’s patience wearing thin.
“I have to go take care of a boy in a black hoodie.”

"Stephan please," I said stepping forward and grabbing his arm to keep him from leaving. "Please, i hate the bitterness between us. Cant we even try to fix it?"

I didn’t look at her, she was right but there was no way to fix it. She’d think of me as a monster, something that loved to kill, loved to feel blood between my fingers, loved to see pain. There was no taking that back, there was no healing the scar that I’d given her. If she kept trying, I would keep restraining from letting her open me up.
“There’s nothing to fix.” I just stood there letting her grip my arm.

My heart broke for the third time in three days. I could feel the tears coming but i held them back. "Stephan, i'm begging you. Please, I cant go on like this." I pulled him close to me and wrapped my arms around him, letting my tears go.

I stood there my body tense. My gaze went to Xander who was fuming with jealousy. I wanted to put my arms around her; I couldn’t put my arms around her. If I did the emotion would come flowing back, I didn’t want to feel anything, I wanted to feel numb of everything.
“Lyrra. . .I-I can’t.” I stared at the darkness my eyes tearing up. I didn’t understand anything to this point, I had recognition of myself. I’d feel nothing one day and then suddenly I’d be overflowing with regret, guilt, love, fear, and even concern.
I let my arms lay at my sides restraining from wrapping them around her.

"Why not? Tell me that and ill leave you alone." I didnt wait for an answer. I dove into his mind seeing everything. The love. The hate. The need. I kept going. I kept going seeing some stuff i could live without and some stuff i needed to see. I felt his feelings when he murdered that nurse. I also saw why he did it.
"Oh Stephan, im so sorry." I said.

I felt it then, I felt the sadness, the tears, the fear, the hate, the rage, the suffering. All at once.
And I hated it more than life. I hated every second of how she made me feel. I pushed her away. “Why should you be sorry!?” I snapped releasing her grip. “You keep trying to make me better, Make me feel something; I don’t want to feel this! You can’t help me! I’m broken! Like that light, shattered!” I didn’t want to take it back; it was the truth, why would she want to help me, help someone who has already fallen. Reach for someone who has already slipped.
“I can’t be helped, I don’t want to feel guilt, I don’t want to feel rage, or sadness! Yes I feel empty, I feel inhuman, but I’d rather feel hallow then feel this gnawing sickening pain in my body that makes me want to scream whenever I know I can’t be with you!” I felt myself tear up. I was pathetic, a man crying with a ripped stomach and in my own boxers.

I looked into his eyes and saw the pain and anger. Tears started to fill my eyes and i didnt hold them back. The pain was unbearable. I did the thing i do best then; i turned and walked away. I needed to get away from him; from the stabbing pain in my heart. I got about five steps then started sprinting. I didnt know where i was going. All i remember was running through fields and feeling the scratches on my legs from the tall grass. I dont know how long i'd been running when i collapsed i a disheveled heap and cried my eyes out. When i finally stopped crying i looked up and realized i had no clue where i was. I got scared then and tried to find my way back but only succeded in making myself more lost. I reached out with my mind and tried to find Stephan's or Xander's so i could show them where i was but i was too far away to make any contact. Why do i wreck anything good in my life? I asked myself. Seeing as i couldnt do anything else, i sat down and curled up in a ball on the ground; wrapping my arms around myself to try to keep warm. I waited to see if anyone would find me and finally fell asleep. I woke up about an hour later, cold and sore. I tried to fall back asleep, but sleep wouldnt come.

I stared for a few seconds not really believing what was going on. Then when she had vanished I panicked.
“Xander!” I yelled not really knowing who else to go to. So I went to the only person I didn’t want to see at that point.
I raced to him blinking back unwanted tears. “Lyrra ran! She left, I have no-“
“Stop wait hold the fuck up! What did you do!?” He snapped his brown eyes staring into mine with rage, bitter cold anger. He cared about her, he really cared, and he had emotions.
“I just-“
“You pushed her away didn’t you?! Why would you push her away man!?” He ran to the car and grabbed cloths from the backseat throwing them at my face. “Get dressed!”
“What are we doing?” I was a pile of confused, hallow, psychotic, pathetic piece of shit.
I dressed into a black shirt and dark pants with a blue plaid hoodie.
He pushed me into the car and started it.
I had no clue where we were headed, and I knew that Xander would win. He’d win her over and make me look like a waste of flesh and bone. A waste of a human or nonhuman super freak. Whichever was appropriate.
We sped down the roads searching for Lyrra, I felt like something terrible was going to happen. Everything felt wrong. Since I met Lyrra nothing was the same, I didn’t know what to make of it.

Xander felt rage towards the man sitting next to him, the look on his pitiful face when he ran to him for help. When he asked for him to help get the girl of his dreams back. No, He’d win, he’d get her and there was nothing Stephan could do to stop him. He had his plans, he had his reasons.

I sat for hours staring into the darkness wondering if i was going to lay there and die or if someone was going to find me. The pain in my heart had subsided into a numbness that filled my body. I opened my mind up to everything; feeling nothing yet seeing everything. I felt the rabbit family about five feet away asleep in their burrow. I felt the ladybugs on the blades of grass. Then i felt something that wasnt an animal. A human, but not a nice one. I curled up in a ball and prayed he would walk right past me. Of course that didnt happen. What did happen was he stepped on me and i cried out. He looked down, a wicked smile playing at the corners of his mouth.
"Well, what do we have here?"
"Get away from me creep or i'll scream as loud as i can," I said in a pathetic voice.
He laughed and said, "Scream all you want baby. No one's gonna hear you out here."
I tried to get up and he kicked me down, hard. I heard my rib crack and cried out. I tried to crawl away and earned myself another kick to the rib.
"Now it will be easier if you cooperate," he said menacingly.
He kneeled down to my side. I could smell the beer in his breath. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a knife. He brought the knife to my stomach and slid it across my abdomen slowly. I could feel the blood start to seep from the wound but knew he didnt cut me deep enough to seriously injure me. Next he brought the knife across my forarm. I groaned in pain and tried to move.
"Why do you want to go so bad? The party's just begun." This was followed by a punch to the face. He continued cutting me, slowly so i suffered. Finally the pain was too much for me to take. STEPHAN! I yelled mentally before everything went back.

I heard it then. The screaming in my head that wasn’t my voice. I held my hands to my head, and I felt it bounding. Was I going insane? Had I finally cracked!? I then realized whose voice it was.
“Xander stop the fucking car and move!”
“What? Why?”
My eyes turned black and I felt white hot rage bubbling to the surface.
“I said Move.” He glanced at me and stepped on the breaks literally jumping into the back seat. I slid over quickly and stepped on the gas, we went from a complete stop to 150 MPH within a few seconds and without any thought I turned a corner almost sending us to flip over. My rage sent adrenaline shooting through my veins.
I dug for her mind while trying to keep myself together. It was like trying to keep a rubber ball under water, you push down but it keeps trying to break the surface.
I didn’t think much of what was going on with her, or if she was hurt or not. I just needed her; I needed to stop the pain.
I turned into a field and when I saw two figures I stopped taking a sharp turn to the side and we slid. The headlights shown in the man’s face and I jumped through the broken window shield. I was like a lion pouncing on my prey.
I landed at his feet and the man was frozen with a knife in his hand ready to bring it down on some. . .
Xander’s eyes widened and he jumped out of the car. “Lyrra!”
My gaze went from Xander to the man, I bared my teeth and the man’s eyes widened at the sight of me.
Without warning I jumped. My fist slammed into his chest and the familiar feeling of ripped flesh, blood, and insides covered my hand. I could smell the metallic, rusty sent of blood. I looked into his eyes and saw fear, the first flash of emotion the man had probably felt. I felt nothing but inhuman joy. I grabbed the man’s knife and slammed the blade into the side of his neck leaving it inside his flesh. My urges intensified and I slammed my fist into his stomach, blood trickled from the side of his mouth and pain swelled over his face. I then took my bloodied hands and grabbed his head twisting his neck quickly until I felt a satisfying snap and crunch of bone.
Then he fell to the ground lifeless, motionless, and just like me; emotionless.

Xander raced to Lyrra, he’d seen Stephan’s darkness, the monster, and the man that hid behind the mask made of flesh and blood. And he was afraid, for him and Lyrra.
He knelt beside her and put his hand over her face stroking her cheek. “Lyrra? Lyrra it’s Xander, we’re going to get you out of here okay?” He lifted her head and rested his arm under her head and the backs of her legs. He lifted her from the ground. “Lyrra? Can you tell me what happened?” He asked, concern soaked into his wavery low seductive voice.
He stole glances at Stephan, his black eyes glimmered in the moonlight as he let the psycho from within break free from its barrier.

My eyes opened and the pain came rushing back to me. I groaned in pain and tried to move only to discover it sent a searing pain through my abdomen.
"Stephan, help me," i said in a weak voice and then everything went black again.
I dont know how long i was out but when i woke up i was laying in the back of my car. I tried to sit up and was rewarded by a shot of pain through every inch of my body. It was the worst i'd ever felt. I tried to relax and couldnt. It hurt to do everything; even breathe.

I didn’t remember much after that, just little snippets. The rest was blurred by rage and satisfaction. I climbed into the driver’s side and drove off down the road. My thoughts kept me awake.

Xander stroked her hair in the back seat trying to calm her down. “Shhhh, Lyrra Stephan is driving, he’ll see you soon, just calm down.” Xander raised his hand over her stomach and closed his eyes. He forced all his energy to her body and he could feel her wound closing. He gritted his teeth. It was painful for him but at least she was going to be fine.
He did this until all her bones and wounds were healed and he sat back taking deep breaths. It felt like he’d just been put into a dryer set to high. He felt her pain.

All of a sudden I felt Xander place his hand on my stomach. I groaned, it hurt. Then the pain started fading until it was gone. I sat up and looked around. Stephan was driving and Xander was sitting next to me. He looked in pain.
"Xander what's wrong?" I said concerned.
I looked in his mind and found my answers. He had healed me, but he now had to live with my pain for a little bit.
"Oh, Xander you should've just left me. I would have been fine."
I looked up to Stephan.
"Hey, stop the car for a second," I said.

I gritted my teeth, my eyes were still black and blood caked my hands. I slowly pulled over to the side of the road. My thoughts blocked away from everything and everyone. I was surprised that Lyrra hadn’t been freaking out.
Instead she was concerned about Xander.

Xander gritted his teeth, it hurt to move, it hurt to speak, but it was worth it. He’d saved Lyrra from bleeding to death and from being in pain for a few days. He also saved her from Stephan; if Xander wasn’t there to help her Stephan could have finished the job without a thought. “N-no it’s fine.” He grunted. “I can live with it for a few hours. It’ll go away soon.” He laid his head back on the seat and closed his eyes wincing whenever he moved.

I didn’t want to wait any longer, we were losing time. I gripped the wheel and sped off not really caring about how much pain Xander was in.

"Hey, i'm gonna hop in front so you can lay down. Ok Xander?"
I didnt wait for an answer. I hopped in front and was about to say something to Stephan when i noticed his hands. They were covered in blood. I looked at the rest of him. He had blood on his shirt and his eyes were black.
"Stephan, what did you do?" I said appawled. He didnt have to answer. I already knew. He had killed someone.
I was about to tell him off when a rough jolt shook the car. I looked over and saw black car next to us. There were two guys in it.

I looked over through the window to the black car and gritted my teeth. They were the guy’s buddies. And they had seen me rip the man to shreds.
I didn’t answer Lyrra, I knew that she’d have a chance to yell at me later but I had to get rid of these guys first. “Lyrra take the wheel.” I forcer her hands on the wheel. “Steer.” I demanded and rolled down the window climbing up on top of the car. I knew if I tried this with her around me I’d end up getting her hurt.
I closed my eyes for a brief second calming myself down till my eyes were blue.
“You really shouldn’t do that.” I yelled towards them.
They laughed.
The black van rammed its side into the car and I almost fell off. My anger flared. One of the guys looked out the window and I blinked my eyes turned pitch black. He looked up at me in fear and with the wave of my hand shadows engulfed his body squeezing the life out of him.
I stared at the van, it needed to go.
I took a deep breath and gripped my hands into a fist. With one movement the van flipped off of the road and tumbled into a ditch. Setting it to combust. Glass shattered everywhere and I covered my face from the glare of the fire.

Xander lay down in the seat. He fell asleep without any idea what had been going on outside.

I slammed my foot on the breaks faster than a speeding bullet. I heard a thump and saw Stephan fall forward off the car. i jumped out of the car and ran toward him.
"Oh my god! Stephan, are you all right?" I asked in a worried voice.
Then i remembered what he had done. He just killed two more people. I got up disgusted and walked back to my car. I hopped in the front seat and started the engine. I drove off leaving Stephan on the rode. If he's not going to let me in and he's not going to stop killing when there's no need then i dont want to be with him. I made sure to drive around him and continued driving down the rode not looking back.

I felt myself jolt and I fell onto the hood of the car and roll to the ground. The air got knocked out of me and I struggled to breath. I lay there flat on my stomach and I got to my knees. When I heard her get out I didn’t want to know what was going to happen. I heard her yell and then she drove off around me.
I gritted my teeth and got to my feet staring after the lights on the car. I had heard her thoughts, but she knew I couldn’t stop killing. It was an addiction, it was my drug. She had already been let in; she already knew everything there was to know about me. But I don’t think she understood it.
I watched the car fade into the darkness and started to run. I don’t remember how long I was running, I remember the burning in my lungs, the wind in my hair, the ache in my muscles, but I don’t remember feeling anger.
I felt relieved.
She finally had the guts to leave.
Then it his me. She was alone with Xander, and he had lied about everything. I felt a pang in my stomach and stopped running. I searched for his thoughts, I searched for her thoughts. And I felt a tear run down my cheek.
No, I couldn’t cry, I pushed her away it was my entire fault. Now I got why she didn’t want to stay away, why it took so long to get her out. She loved me, and I wouldn’t let her talk to me because I was afraid. I was selfish, and now she was trying to push me away and I can’t leave. It was too painful.
I gripped my hand to my chest, not recognizing the feeling, not recognizing the thousands of emotions overflowing my body.
“I love her.” I mumbled trying to lie to myself in my head. But I couldn’t lie, I couldn’t help it. “It’s my fault.”
Xander would get Lyrra, he’d kiss her, he’d get to hold her, and I would have nothing.
So I ran.

Xander sat up the pain in his body was fading. “Wh-where’s Stephan?” He asked his brown eyes searching the car. He slipped into the passenger’s side and stared at Lyrra. “What happened? What’d he do?” his voice was full of hate for Stephan and concern for Lyrra.

"Stephan's gone. I left him on the rode," I said.
I didn't really want to talk about it but i owed Xander and explanation. I continued driving till we hit a small town. There were maybe 500 people that lived there. I drove down the main rode and saw a little inn that i decided would be a good place to stay for the night. I stopped the car right outside the front door and walked inside.
It was a cute little place with floral wallpaper. I walked up to the front desk and rang the bell that was sitting on top of it. A little old woman wearing a blue dress walked out of the door behind the counter.
"Hello, i'd like a room for the night please," i said politely.
"Would that be one bed or two?" She asked while she looked at her clipboard.
"Um, two please."
"Ok, that will be twenty dollars. Breakfast is served from seven till nine every morning. Coffee is served all day." She handed me my key while she said this.
"Ok, thank you."
I walked back out to the car and grabbed the bags. Our room was on the second floor. I walked in and looked around. There was two twin beds with a little nightstand. There was a bathroom with a shower right inside the door. I decided to use it. I took all the shower and hair stuff into the bathroom. I undressed and turned the shower on. Once it was warm i got in. It felt amazing. I stood there for about five minutes before i actually started doing anything. Once i was done i hopped out. I wrapped a towel around myself and went and grabbed a pair of jeans, a tanktop, some socks, some underwear, and a bra from the shopping bags outside the door.

Xander sat on the bed and stared at the walls. When the bathroom door opened he saw Lyrra her black hair dripping with water and a towel wrapped around her body. He smirked, it was kind of hot.
“I think I should wait outside till you’re done.” He smiled and got up walking to the door. His face was slightly flushed. “I’m sorry.” He apologized for seeing her half naked. Like a sweet little naive boy.

I ran, when I got tired of running I walked, when I got tired of walking I would lay down and let the emotions take over my body. I’d let tears rush down my face and I’d let anger built inside me. I’d keep forcing the anger down storing it and saving it for when I needed it. But I let the rest go. I felt like shit, I probably looked like shit.
My light brown hair fell over my face as I collapsed to the ground after running for a few more miles.
I breathed deeply.
“I’m such a freak, a loser, a piece of. . .” I stopped myself to let my unexpected tears flow. I got to my knees and gripped the grass around me. “FUCK!” I yelled the anger getting the better of me. I didn’t want to kill anymore; I didn’t want the emotions anymore. I wanted it all to end. But before it all could end I needed to see Lyrra one last time. I needed to hold her at least once before ending everything. Finishing what I’d started back in the hospital.
I got to my feet and started to run again, ignoring the burning and ripping pains. I swear I ripped my stitches open a while back and the smell of blood made me feel sick. That had never happened before. The pain in my stomach was ignored, the ache in my legs were ignored, and so was the sting in my lungs whenever I took a breath.